It is unloving to be judgmental. Well it depends. One thing is for sure, is it is never loving to excuse or try to make people be ok with sin. Many people have as a Bible interpretation method a ‘man-centered hermeneutic’. That is they start with man, what man thinks, and then projects their thoughts upon God. Instead what we should do, is start with God and submit our thoughts to his.
Nowhere ever does it say God embraces all indiscriminately. Yes. There is forgiveness offered to all. That is through the gospel of Jesus Christ. Apart from Jesus Christ, people are actually under God's wrath though (John 3:36)
We are all born into this world as God's enemies. (Romans 5:10)
All sin is equal in the fact that it qualifies us for hell. And we all qualify. It's not the degree of our sin that makes our sin so bad, it is who we sinned against that makes it so bad. If I wipe mud all over a $5 rug mat, it's not too bad. But if I wipe mud all over a $10,000 rug mat, it's worse. The offense is the same, but who the offense is against makes all the difference in the world.
Our sin is first against God. Yes it is often against others, but it is first against God. That is why secret sin is even bad. If you think about the greatest commandment in the world. What is it? To love God with all our heart, soul and mind. That means that the greatest sin in the world is to not to do that.
This raises the bar pretty high. This is why we all need Jesus. Because there is not a one of us who has ever come close to loving God with all our heart soul and mind. But Jesus has. And with Jesus the trajectory of our life can be pushed in that direction. It really all does boil down to a heart issue. Do we love our sin more than we love God? And all people do. That is why we need a savior. Now is beating people up a sin and hurting them just because you didn't like what kind of sinner they were compared to what kind of sinner you are? Yes. It is going against God's ways. Is being a homosexual a sin and going against God's ways? Yes. And both types of sinners will go to hell apart from turning from their sin, not just one sin but who they are as sinners and turning to Christ
“The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead."” (Acts 17:30-31)
And by the way, we don't become sinners once we sin, we sin because we are sinners.
“Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned—” (Romans 5:12)
So again in the sense that we are all born separated from God and under his wrath. Yes. It is equal. Sin plays itself out in each and everyone's life differently but we are all under the same curse and will receive the same penalty unless something happens.
Only through repentance and trusting in Christ do we become adopted into God's family and become his sons and daughters. Not everyone is born God's children. The exact opposite. We are all born separated from God. And unless we are born again that is how we will die.
“Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."” (John 3:3)
There is a sense, that apart from Christ, God has a holy hatred for us.
“For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers.” (Psalms 5:4-5)
That is in fact the main reason one needs to be saved. Sinners need to be saved from God. For God is the one who has a problem with sinners. It is God we have sinned against and it is God who will throw sinners into hell.
Now is there a sense that even saved people are still sinners? Yes. But there is a difference between a repentant sinner and an unrepentant sinner. Repentant sinners are those who are saved. They have trusted in Christ (the only basis for their salvation) and repented of their sin. Which means they are not ok with it anymore. There is a battle going on with sin within a saved persons life. They are not ok with it anymore. They are changed person.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
And this only makes sense, considering when one is born again, the Holy Spirit comes into a person, gives them a new heart, gives them new spiritual life, gives them new spiritual eyes, and ears and taste and unites us to Christ through faith.
It's like Romans chapter 6 starts out, "should we just keep on sinning?" and Paul says, "by no means!" That doesn't make any sense. And then he spends the rest of the chapter explaining why someone united to Christ should not want to, nor will keep on living a consistent lifestyle of sin.
Will we still sin? Again, yes. But the main thrust of our life is towards holiness.
“Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil ... “No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. (1 John 3:7-9)
So the thing is, not do we still sin, but do we make a practice of sinning? What is the trajectory of our lives.
Are we taking on the family resemblance of Christ, or do we have the family resemblance of Satan still. If we are in Christ we will inevitably begin to start loving the things he loves and hating the things he hates. We start becoming more and more like him.
This is called the process of progressive sanctification. It is evident and it is the trajectory of the believes life from the moment they trust in Christ to grow in righteousness (vilification) and away from sin (mortification). As a whole the two together make up what is called sanctification. Or to be more precise, progressive sanctification. Becoming progressively more Christ like.
Yes, it is true we are set apart the moment we trust in Christ. We can never become more righteous than the moment we trust in Christ. This is called justification or even positional sanctification. But God doesn't just leave us right where we are the moment we believe. He loves us too much to save us in our mess, and then leave us in it. All who have been justified will become in actuality.
This is one of the main works of the Holy Spirit. Besides drawing unrepentant sinners to repentance, the Holy Spirits other main job is transforming repentant sinners.
“For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” (Romans 8:13-14)
The Holy Spirit does this by continuously pointing us to Christ.
“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)
And to give people false assurance I saying this is not what being a Christian is like is not only unloving but it is untrue. To tell everyone the God loves everybody no matter what and everybody is going to heaven no matter what is not loving. In fact it is the epitome of hate.
To tell people to flee from the wrath of God and flee from their sin, and flee to Christ, now that is loving. It's like if you knew a bridge was out over a big canyon. Would it be more loving to stand on the road yelling, waving your arms, warning people to turn back or would it be more loving to wave at people and smile as they went plunging into their destruction?
When we call people to repentance, it's not hate, it's love. We are just warning. Hatred would be making them feel good and helping them justify their rebellion towards God as they plunged into eternal destruction.
It is loving to judge in a loving way according to God's word and his ways. If a person is already a Christian, they should be glad you care and if they are not a Christian we should care more about where they will spend eternity than what they think about us in the meantime.
The whole misinterpreted never judge thing is a lie of the devil. How is it even possible to live life without making judgements. If my kid is about to put a fork in an electrical socket. I am going to make a judgment call and say thats wrong and not just warn them but command them to stop, no make them stop. And I don't care if they get mad. I love them enough that I will sacrifice them liking me for a little bit for their safety.
That is what we are doing when we warn people. Yes. We need to be loving. Yes. We need to watch how we say things and we need to check our hearts to make sure we really are loving. But at the end of the day, we need to warn. People might not like us. But thats ok. People didn’t like Jesus either. Sometimes true love sacrifices being liked.